Thursday, October 4, 2007

FIVE days to go (maybe)

Sorry, guys...I didn't mean to leave y'all hanging for so long. I'm fine, Ian is fine; he's not here yet. He will be here (one way or another) by Tuesday, Nov. 20th...if not before. At my last OB appt., I was 2cm dilated and having a few irregular contractions, so we'll see. :)

...I had kind of a disturbing revelation today. Eating no longer feels good thanks to heartburn. The big O is no longer as good thanks to pubic pain. Sleeping no longer feels good at all b/c everything hurts. Pretty much the only thing that feels good these days is pooping. A good poop is a wonderful thing, and life is pretty bad when your best part of the day (if you're lucky enough to have one during the day)...is a poop.

...Somebody asked how it is possible for maternity pants to "fall down" despite the extra bodily growth, so I will explain the very complicated mathematical equation behind this phenomenon (for me anyway, I can't speak for others). Here goes: (Huge expanding ass + limited amount of ass covering material) / (stupid pants waistband that doesn't stretch past 8.5 months * thighs sausaged into thigh area with not enough material) = pants sticking on thighs of their own accord while pants fall halfway down the ass.

...It's actually a good thing my thighs keep these suckers up or I'd have them down around my ankles half the time, and I have a hard enough time walking around these days as it is. Can you say...quack quack, waddle waddle??

And….if all that wasn't enough to get a chuckle out of anyone....here's a view of my huge ass/belly from just a few days ago. Enjoy!

8 comments:

Billy said...

First! Hells Yeah!

Hey sexy pregnant redneck bitch! Good to see you and your massive belly - I sooo wanna touch.

Been thinking of you often. And thanks so much for the poop talk and the pants falling down info. That clears up a lot.

Kisses and good luck babe! Missing you.

Monica said...

Darlin', what does it say about me when my days resemble yours and my belly/ass look like that, and I ain't even prego?! LOL!

Looking pretty, mama!!

Can't wait!!!

Miss Understood said...

I just wanna squidge ya and squeeze ya and put my hand on your belly. You look absolutely adorable.

I've just spent the whole day photographing a pregnant woman and it was amazing.

Good luck, honey. x

Evening said...

Honey, I am wondering how you and the baby are?? do you mind me asking?? I have been thinking about you?? Are you all happy and healthy???

Heather said...

Good luck, good pain killers, good baby.

I wanna see some pictures of the little guy ASAP.

Miss Understood said...

Hi April? Any news honey?

(AS if you'd even think of writing on here, lol.) I hope everything went well for you both. xxxx

Andy said...

When you get the time to check this, I do hope everything went well for you both...big hugs April.

Billy said...

Okay you ought to have sprung that bundle by now...

What's happenin' girl?

Kisses.