Wednesday, September 26, 2007

8 weeks to go

Why do they make hugely preggo women pee in a cup? There has to be a better way. When I go these days I have to like suction the cup to my va-ja-jay just so I can make sure I catch some of it. Also, my doc's office has a toilet that is lower to the ground than most and has a very shallow bowl. So, not only do I get to pee on my hand, no matter how I position, my hand is in the yucky toilet bowl water. It sucks. Oh, and that's only IF I can actually pee. Apparently, this little one does not like to let me go when we're at the doc's office. It's horrible, they're giving me water and asking me constantly "did you pee in the cup yet?" I swear it's entertainment for them.

This morning, after peeing in their damn cup, I didn't know until the nurse was weighing me that I had my skirt tucked into my underwear. It is very telling of my current mood that I don't care. There were about 5 people in the waiting room who saw my maternity underwear and I DON'T CARE.

I confess that after months of trying carefully NOT to waddle, I now walk like a weeble-wobble, and I don't care -- as long as I don't fall down.

You know you're pregant when you turn the AC way down and turn the fan on, then go pee before you climb into bed, kick the blankets and sheets off, roll to your side and lay your leg across hubby, wiggle around until your comfortable, wiggle some more, realize you need to pee again from all the wiggling, go pee, wash your hands, lotion your hands, realize your belly needs more lotion, get back in bed, roll on side, place leg over hubby, wiggle until comfortable, roll onto back and place your hands on your belly waiting for movement from baby, once you feel that reassuring kick you smile, grab sleeping hubby's hand and place it on your belly, no kick, hubby is impatient and takes hand off belly, baby then kicks, you tell him he missed it, say goodnight, roll on side place leg over hubby, start to fall asleep and realize there is a tiny sensation to go pee, you contemplate holding it but don't want to have to get up from a deeper sleep(if there is such a thing in pregnancy) so you get out of bed and go drip a couple drops in the toilet, you finally go to sleep, but the whole process repeats itself throughout the night.

Whew...I need a nap.

8 comments:

Miss Understood said...

I'm peeing myself laughing over here! Not long now, honey. Hold in there!

Heather said...

I'm glad to see you back April! Wow, alot to catch up on in your life...

First off, CONGRATULATIONS!
On baby and hubby. Sounds like things are good.

LOL! on the description of the joys of sleep attempt in the last 3 mos of pregnancy... It was dead on.

Glad things are good for you.

Billy said...

okay, it's been awhile, now it's 4 weeks to go.

I need more stories about how much you're enjoying life...

Thinkin bout you.

Anonymous said...

I SO know I remember your email address...what was the name of your old blog? I'm glad you're back...

Miss Understood said...

How's it going honey? x

Billy said...

Hey sexy redneck bitch, have you had that baby yet????

Seem to recall that you were due the first week of November, I wanna say the 4th?

So? what's the word?

Heather said...

April?!!

Hope you are well.

Billy said...

C'mon babe, you can't get preggo and leave us in the dark...

Thinkin of you, lots and anxiously awaiting the delivery.

KISS.